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Wednesday, June 27th, 2001
12:18 am - WOW
I DO still have this journal, I should just delete it but I guess there are the few who havent switched over to lil_nomi *cough cough* I think you know who you are!!!.....
well not much to tell you that i havent written in my other livejournal...interesting...well I think im giong to phone ryan...maybe not

current mood: contemplative

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Thursday, June 14th, 2001
10:07 pm - LIL-NOMI
new journal not using this, lil_nomi!!
there ya go
so add me to your friends list or pay the price
mwha ha ha ha
savannah wants ryan to herself but she will pay for it

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Wednesday, June 13th, 2001
10:06 pm
okay for the record
I have read everyone's messages up until now, anad im just to lazy to comment but i did read them

current mood: accomplished

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7:54 am - Okay Just so You All Know
My father got upset with me last night because Im on the internet too much so he said I am not allowed on the internet today, it is Wednsday. Anywho...so I wont be able to get anything tonight so if there is something I am missing by not being on there is the "old-school" way of calling me. y'all know my number is 429-8947
anyway I have to finish a diary entry which I cant do because I have no idea what to say so far I have Dear Diary and I dont even think Jamie would write that.

dont you love my new pic!! dun na na na dunananana na OOOHHH-BABY urgh
hes just a love machine and he something something for no body but me OH BABY yeah

current mood: working

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Tuesday, June 12th, 2001
5:33 pm - another day, not much good stuff
anyway kate, we all know katie, kate, I went to Wonderland with her, ya know her COMMON PEOPLE KATE!!
anyway she has livejournal now!
her name is "coconut_guru"
check it out
okay if you want weezer songs from napster, of course I will be buying them soon anyway to support sucha cool-ass band, but anyway type in "wzr" or "weeze" they work! BOO-YAH!

current mood: hot

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Monday, June 11th, 2001
11:11 pm - im sorry its soo long Amy
39 Days Ago

A light streamed through the large glass windows lighting up small portions of the floor, tables and chairs that make up the Sherbourne Secondary School cafeteria. Teenagers chatted, gossiped, scrambled for sheets to cram for a test they had forgotten was that day and caught up on unfinished homework.
In one of the numerous tables that dawned the cafeteria an 18-year-old girl, Sarah Scott, sat chatting with one of her guy friends, Dave. The girl was of medium size and had an average weight for her size. She had a face to soothe a child's pain. Her sapphire blue eyes were only accentuated by her blue stone washed jeans and green v-neck t-shirt. Her eyes began to widen, staring deep into the coffee coloured eyes of Dave. Dave wasn't what some would call "hot" but he had a nice clean-cut look to him. He carried himself well and often dressed to impress the girls he would woo over.
"I don't know what to do. I don't know what to ask him. I have so much going on right now; it's too much." Sarah said quickly trying to get it all out in one breath. Sarah was normally so closed in with her life but recently she was having trouble keeping all her feelings on the inside. Sarah hadn't told her mother yet but she was 1 month late and she thought she knew why. 39 days earlier Sarah had gotten drunk with a couple of friends at a friend of hers house. She didn't know what exactly had happened but a friend had told her once:
"I saw you and Tom go up stairs, you were up there for a long time. Hehehe I wonder what you guys did? Oooh! You were so out of it; I'm not surprised you don't remember. You were all over all of the guys. It was hilarious."
Sarah hadn't paid much attention to what her friend told her, she figured everyone gets drunk sometime and does something they regret. Only later did Sarah comprehend the consequences of her actions that night.
Sarah and Tom had dated on and off for a couple of years, they didn't make a compatible couple but they always remained good friends. Sarah always held some feelings towards Tom, but Tom always had a girlfriend.
"I don't know what to do. I just want to jump off a cliff and have everyone forget about that night." Sarah told Dave. Dave was one of two people who Sarah had revealed her thoughts to. Dave and Sarah had only been friends for 2 years but the moment they met they knew they would be good friends for a long time. Dave had been surprised lately at the way Sarah was acting. Sarah had been telling him all the details of her life, not so much information about herself, but feelings about her past and what she thought had happened that night 39 days earlier.
"Hmm. I could say you should tell him, but maybe you should know for sure before telling him. I know, being a guy, if a girl was to tell me she thought she was pregnant I would freak out." Dave said.
"RRRRRING!!!"
"Whoa, that was a quick lunch. I'm really sorry Sarah I have to go to Biology class, See ya later." Dave grabbed his bags and binder from the floor on his right. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I will be" Sarah replied, grabbing her bag and turning her face to hide her worried expression.
Sarah had never felt so out of the loop. She had been distancing herself from her friends lately, only talking to Dave and Michelle. Sarah hadn't distanced herself on purpose, but all her friends were friends with Tom and she felt uncomfortable around him now. Sarah regretted going over that night, she wished she could go back in time and make things between Tom and her the way they were before 39 nights ago. At first everyone always asked her questions about that night, but she never knew the answers to any of them. She wished she could remember. She wished she could make things better.
Sarah's life had gone downhill 36 days ago after she talked to her friend about the Saturday before. Sarah had begun having trouble at school, paying attention in class had never been a problem before but now the teachers noticed the change in her. Sarah would sit in class staring blankly at her desk fidgeting with her long brown hair and rolling her pens on her desk; back and fourth, back and fourth.
She used to be so close to her mother. Her father had died three years earlier bringing her mother and her closer together, but lately they hadn't been talking. Sarah never told her mom about going out that night, her mom had been at an out of town conference that weekend. Her mom thought Sarah was going to invite her friend Michelle over to keep her company for the time but instead they both went to the party. Sarah felt she couldn't talk to her mom about that night; she didn't want her mom to feel she couldn't trust her anymore. They hadn't had their weekly talks in weeks and Sarah was feeling the drift between them widen.
For the last 30 days after school she would go right home and lock her self in her room, turn up the volume on her CD player and right her thoughts down in her journal that she kept hidden under her mattress. She never told anyone about her journal, but they found it eventually.
Dear Diary,
Things have just gotten worst. My marks are dropping; I might fail geography. My teachers all hate me; they talk to me like I'm some sort of retard. My friends don't know what is going on with my life and neither do I. I think I'm pregnant L I don't want to take the test. What happens if I am? What will I tell my mom? What will I tell Tom? I think he will deny the whole thing; if I can't remember exactly what happened I doubt he does. Maybe I'm imagining the whole thing.
Am I crazy? Have I gone insane? I don't think anyone cares if I'm here or not. Maybe I should just run away or kill myself. I don't know what I want to be; do I want to be anything? Why is it now a day every choice you make, can make or break your future life? I don't like the way the system works.
I feel ugly; I don't want to be me anymore. Why can't I just be some one else for a day? I hate my life. There is too much going on right now, I feel horrible, my mom, school, and my future, Tom, MY LIFE!!!
I hate life, I hate they way I smile, I hate the way I look in pictures, I hate how I'm spending a perfectly good day writing in you instead of having out with my friends, I hate how I don't even have friends any more, I'm pathetic, I need a life, I cant take this anymore.
I don't want to kill myself, it's wrong, but I don't know if anyone would even notice. I could fall off the face of the earth and no one would notice, except maybe the bank.
I have to stop writing in you; it makes me more depressed
Sarah

Sarah wiped the tears from her eyes. It was 9 o'clock. Where had her night gone? She had an English assignment due the next day; she knew she couldn't take another 0 on an assignment. She turned off her lights; the moon gleamed through her window lighting up the wall with scary images formed from the tree outside. She couldn't sleep. Where were her sleeping pills? Sarah stumbled out of bed knocking down everything that got between her and the pills.
"No water?"
Sarah said but she wasn't in the mood to walk all the way downstairs and grab some from the kitchen. She gathered some spit in her mouth, only enough to get the pill down. Was that enough to make her fall asleep? She gathered her spit again and reached for another pill.

current mood: accomplished

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7:34 pm - WEEKEND
I think I am going north for the weekend!! *sniff sniff* but it will help me study for exams! GAH!
AMy I DONT want you to move, does everyone realize none of us will be together for grad?
well there will be sam, haley and emmy thats sad since there were 6 of us
hehe I saw red hat boys pic. I know what you are saying savannah and dont get me started I have a weird problem with guys I dont know but yet THINK are perfect in many ways
I have soo much homework
hehe ryan lear! :)
ahhh brain freeze!! but mmm chocolate icecream but again OWWWY!!
hope you feel better tomorrow emmy
the plan will work, mw ha ha ha ha, censor cameras I am telling you CENSOR CAMERAS

current mood: cold

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Sunday, June 10th, 2001
4:59 pm
Journal entries: 72
Comments: Posted: 210, Received: 74
isnt this sad!! I have received about 1.03 comments per entry!
i have posted about 3 times as much as i have received
take this as a hint!! *lol*

current mood: bored

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12:39 pm - my day
well I just woke up so not much to tell ya there
but saturday was kickass!!!
read savannahs extremely long but EX-citing entry (and comment)
oh to any rusty fans out there I saw some of their CDs

current mood: amused

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Friday, June 8th, 2001
8:22 pm - well well well
it IS friday but im really not in my friday lazy mood!
grrr must watch empire of the sun
I found $10 on my way home!! YAY
plum is soo sweet, "love plummy" ohhh.... he will always be MY captain
I want to be in the movie "say nothing"
hehe Jimmy Fallon was soo cute last night
screwed up on my geo test but I think I passed
got 47/50 on my science test... BOO...YAH
must go, call me if anything new happens, or if you are feeling down, or want to do something, and I sound extremely desperate.
grrr making th aband is on and its pathetic

current mood: optimistic

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Thursday, June 7th, 2001
4:40 pm - *cough cough*
I dont feel to good, my throat is hurting like a bitch
anyway I went to english, but than I left school, signing out was a big hassle b/c she wanted to call home and my mom wasnt there and I called my dad but he wasnt in his office and grr it took so long
anyway I got home later and watched this 80's teenager movie on tv, about the geek girl going out with the popular guy but he wants sex, and his 4 year gf doesntgo to the prom b/c she has no one and so she hooks up with the geeky kid and they go steady at the end, anyway it had a lot of tv actors in it
than I proceeded to clean my room (SAVANNAH), but that lasted only 10 minutes and I gtg anyway
cya all tomorrow

current mood: blah

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Wednesday, June 6th, 2001
8:15 pm - grrr
okay day
1) I got to school o ntime where I proceeded to do the longest most boring presentation I almost fell asleep IN MY PRESENTATION, andmy throat hurt the whole time
2) math, enough said, sucked
3) lunch, subway tastily expensive but we got to eat on the hill
4) geo, BORing, but sav and ben enlighten my day
Never boring
Always on my mind
Oh my is she fine
My god is she sexy
I cant stop thinking about *lol*
science) kill me please,
aftr school I sat and waited for lauren, emmy and amy but forgot how l and e had to go right after and amy was at the butt
home) I am feeling like shit but I will survive
I WANTED TO SEE WEEZER
why doesnt my mom leave, I am sending her a mental message
hehe felicity is on
what thisbanging noise I must go clean room

current mood: sick

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Tuesday, June 5th, 2001
9:37 pm - UMM
I didnt get weezer tickets!!! :( :( I am sad
Haley whats wrong? you weren't at school, I ate lunch w/ sav, katie and Paul so its a. o. k.
grrr, and I have hmwk which I SHOULD do, but it late and Im tired ALREADY!!
anway there are alot of things happening lately and Im feeling quite out of the loop, so if anyone would like to give me the 411 on things that would be much appreciated!!
I think the girl in Amys stories is DEFINITELY pregnant, maybe not, we'll see!! :)
I wanted to see WEEZER!!! :(
oh well, I babysat tonight and I made $20!! YAY
I must go b/c it is late and I must clean my room

current mood: frustrated

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Monday, June 4th, 2001
5:33 pm - GRRRR
I deleted all these entries because Iwasnt feeling well so I was bitchy so anything in about the last week is gone!
anyway I am in another god damn fight w/ jaren
GRR he makes me so mad, but we all know why I do this dont we
and yes it is true but i am not proud, katie and savannah know so its okay to write this

current mood: mad but flirty but more mad/sad

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Tuesday, May 29th, 2001
9:07 pm - remember this
I will always remember the way we used to be
I will always remember the way you put me down
I will always remember the way you made me feel
I will always remember the pain
I will always remember the feeling of inadequacy
I will always remember the rage that built inside
I will always remember your excuses
I will always remember

current mood: depressed
Saturday, May 26th, 2001
6:08 pm
IM GOING TO CANADA's WONDERLAND
for my first time

im such a first timer!! GO NOMI!!!!

current mood: excited

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Friday, May 25th, 2001
5:10 pm
i would just like to say that amy is the greatest person that ever lived
i am nomi and i am canadian

current mood: sneaky

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Thursday, May 24th, 2001
5:31 pm - My name WAS calld at the assembly twice... Nuts!
A THOUGHT BY LAUREN DZENIS:
Im at Nomis house 'studdying'
right now nomi is fighting with her brother... Emmy is screaming and Amy has run out of the room.
Robert is trying to find his grade 9 year book. He is very angry...
Now everyone is out of the room x-cept for me and Emmy's radiohead music.
We saw Will from State Of Oblivion in the yearbook from last year. I like his hat on him better. It should be glued to his head...
...upps... Robert just gave us all the finger and said somewhere there was a clown crying because of us. The makeup would run.

current mood: good

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Wednesday, May 23rd, 2001
6:13 pm - MY DADDY
well, my internet just started working, I hate this crappy phone connection, grrr
anyway my moms fridn sharon is over (she has cancer and had her head shaved last week) so my dad said he would do it because I think she is self-conscious about it
so.. to cut a story short they shaved my dads head and it looks funn
anyway Im going to go have a npa b/c I have to wake upi earlier than my usual 8 b/c I have to be at savannahs at 8:20 se we can all go to the play together
gtg byee

current mood: indescribable

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Monday, May 21st, 2001
10:56 pm - :(
well it turns out folks that this girl isn't going to be "reading" anytime soon, you heard me
my hopes and dreams smashed before they even got going
the crippling truthof it is, is that I thought this could be my first bf but alas no
im giong right back out there into the cruel and unjust world of pain and broken hearts
HE is going to have a gf soon enough, apparently, which means hes going after someone and jarens being an ass

lalala Im not obsessed, well I might be but that is beyond the point
its weird that this hurts so much b/c I dont know him
I know of himand I've met him once, and the fact that he doesn't know my name is a litle weird
but oh well
puppy love is gone, who let the dogs out

for now I am, what you can call, illiterate but one day my friends I will read
peace out!!! *sniff sniff*

current mood: crushed

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